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A word on the Hale situation.

I was going to stay out of it (as I’ve stayed out of every other blogger/author thing) but I feel compelled to say something.

Facts:

Kathleen Hale stalked someone after obsessing over an encounter/series of encounters with that person and wrote about doing so, seemingly without remorse. <source>

Kathleen Hale is a victim of rape. <source>

As a victim of a pedophile, I know what it is like to be triggered by something and have less-than-pleasant behaviors result. My behavior following my nearly four-year relationship with a pedophile was self-destructive. I attempted suicide twice and self-harmed for years. I did other things over the years that were wrong and stuff I’m not proud of. I was unstable but eventually I got help.

One thing I began doing a couple years ago is check-up on the pedophile via social media about three times a year. I do this because a) It’s not fair that I have to deal with the fallout of what he did and he does not and I’m angry about that, and b) I’m checking for signs of trouble (a.k.a. it happening to someone else. He’s a junior high school teacher and basketball coach to girls the same age as I was when our relationship began. He was also my basketball coach.). I do not want to interact with him in any way, so even though I’ve thought about alerting the school he works for about his past, I haven’t and don’t plan to. (And I also don’t think it would do anything but harm me in the end. He’s never had trouble convincing people he’s harmless.)

I’m not proud of this, but it’s true. It’s also true that Kathleen Hale crossed a major line, but from everything I’ve read, she is also a victim of severe trauma, and I would wager a big part of her behavior comes from experiencing that trauma. For whatever reasons, Hale was triggered by her interactions with the blogger and did not have the support and tools to deal with it properly. Whether her obsessive behavior existed before her trauma or began after, the point is, like most victims, she craved control and understanding from a real or perceived offense. That does not excuse what she did, but I hope that cries of “crazy” will stop.

Hopefully this whole experience has been a wake-up call for her. From what I know about Kathleen Hale, she probably has the resources to get help, and I hope she utilizes those resources, because continuing to enable obsessive/delinquent behaviors, whether by going through with them or writing about them without remorse, is not healthy. And maybe, eventually, there will be a brighter outcome for everyone involved.

  • (I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

  • Customer:

    “Excuse me, sir?”

  • Me:

    “Yes, ma’am?”

  • Customer:

    “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

  • Me:

    “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

  • Customer:

    “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

  • (The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

  • Me:

    “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

  • Customer:

    “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

  • (I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

  • Owner:

    “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

  • Owner:

    “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

  • (My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

  • Homeless Man:

    *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

  • Owner:

    *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

  • Homeless Man:

    “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

  • (Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

alisonhendrunk:

vesperass-anuna:

silvermoon424:

lilyskinned:

alimarko:

massachusettsprep:

merrymagicalbroad:

Let me tell you a fucking thing about costume design. That’s some in depth, difficult shit to learn. And the fact that this goddess can ramble this shit off the cuff means she knows her shit. ELLE WOODS IS A GODAMNED GENIUS AND IT’s NOT A STRETCH TO BELIEVE SHE GOT INTO HARVARD LAW MMMK?

FUCK YEAH ELLE WOODS OR DIE

this movie is literally about an attractive woman who loves to party having to prove over and over again that she’s also intelligent and hard-working to those who judge her based on her looks (who also empowers and fights for other women, and fosters unlikely friendships instead of engaging in girl hate) and if you don’t think that’s some great feminist shit then I don’t know what your problem is

Let’s not forget that in the end when the guy wants her again, she turns him down because she knows she deserves better.

AND let’s not forget that at the end she is the class-elected speaker at the graduation ceremony, has graduated with high honors, has been invited into one of Boston’s best law firms, and is best friends with the girl who her boyfriend left her for.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILMS EVER.


 

(Source: ehyperrie)

Nobody really goes out and intentionally writes a story that is not diverse. People aren’t intentionally trying to exclude all this from their stories, consciously. You write what you know, and it comes out the way it does. And what I think is great about [the We Need Diverse Books] campaign is it’s putting that seed in people’s heads so that when they’re thinking of new stories and being creative, they now have this new image in their head that they can work with.

Marie Lu, author of THE YOUNG ELITES (out Oct. 7!) and the New York Times best-selling LEGEND series, on diversity in YA and the #WeNeedDiverseBooks campaign. Listen to her full interview here, or on iTunes or Stitcher!

(via firstdraftwithsarahenni)

Though Mean Girls was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, language, and some teen partying,” that was a rating Paramount had to fight for, says Waters. “We had lots of battles with the ratings board on the movie. There was the line, ‘Amber D’Lessio gave a blow job to a hot dog,’ which eventually became ‘Amber D’Lessio made out with a hot dog.’ Which is somehow weirder! That’s the thing we found: When you’re trying to make a joke obey the rules and not use any bad words, it can actually become seamier, even.” Still, there were some things that Waters simply refused to change. “The line in the sand that I drew was the joke about the wide-set vagina. The ratings board said, ‘We can’t give you a PG-13 unless you cut that line.’ We ended up playing the card that the ratings board was sexist, because Anchorman had just come out, and Ron Burgundy had an erection in one scene, and that was PG-13. We told them, ‘You’re only saying this because it’s a girl, and she’s talking about a part of her anatomy. There’s no sexual context whatsoever, and to say this is restrictive to an audience of girls is demeaning to all women.’ And they eventually had to back down.”
don’t fuck with tina fey (via brokenclocksrighttwiceaday)

(Source: helenaoftroy)

formerlyknownastoeshoemezzo:

cliche-blog-title:

catertothehollow:

fem-blog:

thenewwomensmovement:

diloolie:

neurosciencestuff:

A 12-year-old schoolgirl has been accepted into Mensa after discovering she is brainier than both Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking.

Olivia Manning, from Liverpool, managed to get a whopping score in an IQ test of 162 - well above the 100 average.

Her score is not only two points better than genius German physicist Einstein and Professor Stephen Hawking, but puts her in the top one per cent of intelligent people in the world.

FUCK YEAAAAAH!!!

(and of course the mainstream media won’t even acknowledge this because women doing smart things in math or science? GEDOUTTATOWN.)

This is so awesome!

SIGNAL BOOST! This is AMAZING!

woah

“she
managedto get”

Please tell me I’m not the only one seriously irked by this wording.

She’s a kid who got higher on Mensa than two adults revered by the scientific and intellectual community world wide. SHe should be their god. Her brain’s not even done cooking yet; when she’s finished, she might be 180. 230!

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